Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Me Too- A few Chosen Words on the Trend

Me too.  Two simple words with infinite meaning depending on the inflection, depending on where we have bookmarked ourselves on the journey of recovery.

Some scream loud with warrior intention: ME TOO!!

Softer voices claim with a sorrowful sigh: me too.

Some type the words into their status: #metoo...... but then delete it.  The shame is just too much.

Then there are those among our ranks who see #metoo in their social media feeds and give a silent nod of recognition not having experienced the pain personally but knowing those who have.  We envy you and thank you for the support.

And there are those who are overwhelmed by those two words, not yet ready to acknowledge their own personal pain.  To these women, and men, I say we are here for you.

If you are ready then share your story.  Drop that plate of shame feast someone left you holding. There is infinite power in our stories.  Every time we share a memory, tell a trusted friend we are suffering, name our abusers; we take back the power stolen from us.  With every word of truth the self-blame veil lifts higher and higher to reveal a cult of silence from which all predators draw their strength.

I say "Me Too" with confidence and a tinge of self righteousness.  With 10 years of therapy under my belt, I've earned it. It was the hardest walk to take but I've learned to shine in the light and not hide in the dark cobwebbed corners. In 1995, I joined a survivors' support group at a local church.  There were five of us.  I was the youngest.  The oldest was 76.  It was her first meeting.  The first moment she publicly stated in the weakest inflection, "Me too."  And she wept as if she were 7 again asking her grandfather to please stop.  It is for her generation, my mother's generation, my generation, and all the keep silent culture that I declare #metoo.

Rise up.  Reclaim your power.  Be gentle to those who are not ready.  Be kind to those who criticize for they know not our struggle, or they deny their own.  Praise the male victims who come forward~ this is their fight as well.  And to those who are unsure whether your stories qualify~ then your answer is to stand up, choose your inflection, and know we too support you.  Our time has come.